Crying quietly to myself, I opened my new ENG 100 (Circuits 2) book today and began reviewing all the concepts I learned in ENG 17 (Circuits 1). Out of all the engineering classes I have take, these two are definetly the worst. Not only do I not understand a thing in the classes, but they are EXTREMELY boring. To lighten my next 6 weeks I bring...ENGINEERING HUMOR!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three engineers are riding down the road in a car. Suddenly, the car begins to develop trouble. It's sputtering and it sounds like it's going to stall.

The first engineer is a chemical engineer. He says, "It could be something in the fuel line. Lets put an additive into the gas and maybe that will take care of the problem."

The second engineer is an electrical engineer. She says, "It could be something in the electrical system. Let's replace the wires and the distributor cap. Maybe that will take care of the problem."

The third engineer is a software engineer from Microsoft. He says, "It could be that we've too many windows open. Let's close all the windows, turn off the car, then restart the car and open all the windows again. Maybe that will take care of the problem."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What is the integral of d(cabin) / cabin?
A: Houseboat. (The integral of d(cabin) / cabin is log (cabin) + C, which equals a houseboat.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An atom walks into a bar and asks if anyone has seen his electron. The bartender says no, and asks the atom if he's sure his electron is missing.
Yes, says the atom, I'm positive

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's the reason I never bake cookies for myself...the recipe looks like this to me

Why Engineers don't cook...

Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe:

Ingredients:
1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Directions:

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I have poor humor.

Track of the Day: Gorillaz - Dirty Harry